One last day

It’s getting dark outside. The boys are still playing soccer. With the boys I mean the kids from our street (girls are almost extinct in this street.) It looks fun. This afternoon one of our neighbours started putting lights in the tree before his house. As is tradition, every family has the same kind of lights we all put up before Christmas in the tree before our house. Within seconds the other men in the street ran out of their house, holding lights and ladders. Discussions on how the lights should be put up and where they had left them from last year followed. It looked fun.

As normal as it is that I am here right now, as rare it will be from tomorrow on. It is time to go. Time to leave this house and this country. I expected to feel sad, but I don’t. I am at peace and just feel ready.

Still that is not how I have felt the whole time during these past months. Choosing to follow God and taking the steps to really live it are two very different things. Living the dream is not like dreaming. And it sure is not easy. I know it is worth it. But I don’t want to be this person that gives the idea that living the dream is amazing and easy and nice and nothing else. 

Living the dream takes sacrifices. It is painful. And tiring. Taking a step without knowing whether it will work out or not takes courage. Honestly, dreaming about moving to another country and not knowing if you can go or not, until a week and a half before you leave, is simply crazy.

Yes, this life exists out of living one dream, waiting and living another dream. And in the end it is all worth it. If only, because God is worth every sacrifice and every step in faith. But life in itself is raw, fun, painful. Like a dance of which you don’t know the steps. 

This may sound negative. But that is not my heart. I mean to be honest and not paint an unrealistic picture. For me, I am excited and look forward to this new adventure, this new chapter in life! I am very privileged to be able to live this life. That’s the truth.

Advertisements

About lifegiving1

Am absolutely in love with writing.. next to writing a blog (every once in a while) love writing poetry and books. My first published book is available at: http://boekscout.nl/shop/ViewProduct.aspx?bookId=3902
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s