First of all. I believe in marriage. I think it’s so beautifully made by God. It amazes me how marriage is such an great image of Gods love, mercy and grace. Of His longing for deep connection and relationship with us.
So, if I believe it’s not all just a fairytale, then why write about it? Because. Because last week I told a friend that I believe in marriage and she told me she was surprised I said so, for a lot of people don’t really believe in it anymore. Also because I was thinking about Adam and Eve and suddenly I was struck by something in their story. I’d like to share my thoughts about it with you.
In the world of today marriage, a good and healthy marriage, has become an exception. I don’t think it’s necessary to explain about divorce etc. for we all know about it. Most of us, because we went through it ourselves. So let’s say, a good marriage may seem somewhat of an illusion. A sweet story, or fairytale.
I have noticed, as I am a person who observes the world around me a lot, that many times it is the women who have become the leaders in their families and the men seem to miss out. And I have wondered how that has happened, as I believe it is the man who is meant to lead the family and not the woman. So, why are things the other way around?
Adam and Eve.
Where we may wonder who will be that one person to get married to, they never had to wonder, for God had made Eve out of Adam. She was literally part of him! They were perfect together. They were made for each other. They walked in the garden of Eden with God, which was not like a paradise, but paradise itself! Talking about a good start of your marriage… they had it! The best start, the best foundation, ever.
We all know what happens. The snake deceives them, they eat from the fruit and have to leave the garden. For staying would mean they could eat from the tree of life which would make them live in sin for eternity. They needed saving and so they had to leave.
I have heard this story a dozen times, read it myself, heard people preach about it.
But last week, I was suddenly struck by this one thought I had.
Adam and Eve were together when the snake deceived them. Who eats from the fruit first and with that takes the lead? Not Adam. Eve. It is Eve who leads them in that moment. Adam was the head of their family (I believe you are a family as soon as you are married), but he was certainly not the one taking the lead in this oh so crucial moment.
So now I wonder. Why? Did Eve not believe Adam could do it? Had she decided that, since she was created after Adam, she would be a better creation (an upgrade) and therefore be a better leader? Did Adam not believe he could do it? Was it that Eve didn’t stand beside him, showing him the respect he so deserved, that made him grow silent?
Is this particular part in the bible so that we can see it’s best if men are the leader in the family?
Please, I am not trying to say women are not capable of being leaders. I am not saying we should be people without a voice, just standing there quietly. I just do think God meant men to be the leaders in the family. Because they are the ones who protect, they are the ones going to God, pleading for their family, they are the ones looking the devil in the eye, telling him to leave and not ever touch their family, for he doesn’t have the right.
Both women and men fight. We do it in very different ways. Because we are different.
We are different, because God wanted us to see not just one side of Himself. He wanted us to enjoy all of Him.
Looking at Adam and Eve I wonder, did Eve believe in him? Looking at the world today I wonder, do we women believe in our men? Do you? I do. I believe in men. And I am looking forward to meeting my husband and learning how to show him respect. For I believe that there is a proud, loving and caring wife standing behind every successful man.
I believe we make a HUGE difference when we believe in our husbands, brothers, fathers, sons.
Let’s go for it!
P.S. I’d like to add that I am aware of the fact that every person is unique and this does not work for every single marriage. If yours will be, or is different, please understand that I don’t mean to judge, but am just asking questions about things and trying to get the right image of a truly beautiful marriage:) Also, what I talk about, only works when both people are servants, not in an abusive relationship, that’s something completely different!