Sometimes great places are not far away at all. Sometimes it doesn’t take an 8-hour drive or the purchase of a plane-ticket before you can step into a new place and spend some time there. Sometimes there is an old place, that you thought would never be part of your life again and it’s right there where you meet up with friends.
Today I went to LID (Which means something like ‘Light in Darkness’) the place where I lived when doing a DTS. It’s been a year since DTS ended and even though it only takes 45 minutes to get there by car, I have never once visited there. Not until today. There is a reason for everything. My reason was that I loved every second I spent there. I loved everything God was doing, the people, the surroundings, the late night talks, the lack of sleep, you name it. I loved it with every fibre of my being. And my heart broke the day it all came to an end. So for a year I have lived my life, knowing DTS will never come back, trying to leave the memories safely hidden in a small trunk in the back of my heart.
I know. All things come to an end. We live knowing this. We go through phases and times together with certain people, knowing that ten years from now, most of those same people will live their lives somewhere else, without us being part of it. I love that. I love knowing that God will give me the privilege of meeting even more great people then I have already done so far. I love the adventure of knowing that these people are for this time and that in another time and place God will bring community with other people. I just have one problem. I love meeting and getting to know people so much. And I can only do it wholeheartedly. I love people. Completely. And whoever loves more, will hurt more. So, when that day comes, that one awful day of saying goodbye, I for a second wish I was different. I wish I was a rock, with no feelings at all. I wish I would not be so passionate. I wish I could meet someone and just not care. But today I realised this:
I might hurt when I have to say goodbye. But I have not missed out on knowing some of Gods greatest sons and daughters! I have laughed and cried together with them. I have acted goofy and foolish. I have made mistakes. I have loved. And they have loved me. And as I drove back home, that was the reason my face existed out of one big smile.